Hi everyone,

First, thank you for taking the time and effort to read this blog. I don't write blogs, but I feel this season is the right season for me to start sharing snippets of my life and the journey we are going through.

This season has been a mixed season, and now I can say that I am quite excited about it. I think a lot about God's timing. This season has made me question the timing of God, understand the timing of God, and seek the timing of God more than ever in my life.

In July, I was diagnosed with cancer.

It is colon cancer, and there is a 11 cm tumor growing in my colon. We went through the tests and everything that came with them, and when the results came back, they were cancer positive.

It was news I did not want to hear.

But when I got the news, I could only think about one other important thing happening in our lives: my wife and I are expecting a baby. We are entering the third trimester, and our baby is due in November.

Right in the middle of the excitement of preparing for our baby, learning about becoming a father, and preparing ourselves for our first child, this was the last thing I wanted to hear.

When I found out about the cancer, the very first thing I thought was,

"Why, God? Why right now? Why right now?"

On one side, there was also a voice in me saying, "It's fine. God is a healer, and I am sure He will heal my cancer. It's not a big issue. It will become history, and I'm young."

But on the other side, I kept asking,

"Why, God? Why right now? Why this weight of uncertainty?"

That weight of uncertainty was difficult.

I asked God, "What if I die? What if, while we are preparing for this new life, I die? Will You take care of my child? How will I grow with them? How will I see them grow? How will my wife take care of our child?"

There was a rush of questions inside me.

This chapter has made me question God's timing and seek God's timing more deeply. 

I thought maybe I should have got cancer a year before, or maybe a year later. Why now? Why in the middle of all this?

It felt like too much to carry both emotions at the same time.

But the more I drew in, and the more I questioned, I was reminded of this Bible verse:

"But we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."

I think of Noah building the ark. I think of Moses spending forty years in the wilderness. I think of Job in the middle of his suffering, asking God questions.

Why sickness? Why death? Why this?

Throughout all of this, we see struggles. We see difficulties. But we also see endurance being built. Character being built. Hope being built in the Lord.

I am learning that this journey is not only about asking how I will be healed. It is not only about the uncertainty or not knowing what will happen.

It is about meeting God in these situations.

It is about meeting God here.

It is about fully surrendering and trusting Him.

I guess in these last few weeks, my understanding of waiting on God and understanding His timing has changed and grown a lot.

I still want answers. Of course I do.

But I am also beginning to understand that knowing every answer is not the most important thing.

The most important thing is journeying with God through it.

I have now just finished my third chemo, and our baby is growing healthy. Nisha is doing well too.

Not all days are great. There have been a lot of days of resting, weak days, and then there have been good days too. I am learning to take each day as it comes.

I also know that God is dealing with my fears in His own way. Some fears are still there, some questions are still there, but I know He is working through them.

I want to thank every one of you who has been constantly supporting us, praying for us, checking on us, and walking with us through this season. It means a lot to us.

Please continue to remember us in your prayers.

I also have a prayer set that I recorded during this season. I hope it blesses you as we trust God in the waiting.

My pastor said that all of us are in our own battles. And I think that is true.

So if you are also in a season of waiting, let perseverance build character, and let that character build hope in God.

He is the God of the mountain.

And He is also the God of the valley.